“How do you do it all?”
This question came in to me during my market research recently.
I literally LOLed.
I am DEFINITELY NOT “doing it all.”
And over the years of coaching people, here’s what I’ve learned …
NO ONE IS DOING IT ALL.
NO ONE HAS THEIR SHIT TOTALLY TOGETHER.
EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE AREA OF THEIR LIFE THAT IS FLAILING OR BEING SACRIFICED IN FAVOR OF OTHER EXCELLING IN OTHER AREAS.
For me personally, while I may be doing great at:
Improving my physical health + fitness
Maintaining my mental health + fitness
Building a positive relationship with food + fueling my body in alignment with my goals
Staying free of persistent or reoccurring pain and injury
Prioritizing time with my husband and doggo
Expanding my skills so I can be the best damn coach out there
Growing my CEO mindset to build a more sustainable + profitable business
At the same time, I’ll freely admit that I struggle HARD with:
Financial health + stability largely from undercharging for my services and barely paying myself for almost a decade.
Social health from not having any time or energy left after running my business, taking care of my tiny little family unit, and training for strength and endurance.
Areas of clutter in my home thanks to me not wanting to organize closets and spare rooms and instead using these areas as dumping grounds for things I don’t want to deal with.
And here’s the thing, those struggles are heavily affecting my sense of well-being. For example, my husband and I haven’t gone away together on a vacation or a trip since … and this is embarrassing to admit … 2015. (OMG that’s E I G H T years )
Another example: even though I’m an introvert thru and thru, I miss having friends to connect with and laugh with. I feel socially isolated a lot and even though I don’t have the energy for community engagement, I still miss it. I still wish I had a best friend or two to chat about life with.
And I find myself living around the cluttered areas which is a drain on me mentally and physically.
So no, I assure you that I am 100% NOT doing it all.
But honestly, neither is anyone that I’ve ever met.
Everyone I know is making sacrifices in a few areas of their lives.
The wise ones are really looking at their lives and deciding where their energy goes in a way that actaully aligns with their own core values.
The wise ones are choosing what gets sacrificed, rather than letting it be chosen for them.
The wise ones aren’t just giving all of themselves away to people and things that don’t matter to them and leaving nothing for themselves or what they think is most important.
The wise ones know that they will never “do it all” and instead of trying to “do it all” they play with what it would be like to be 5-10% better at those areas where they are struggling.
And I’m sharing this with you because I want you to know that it’s totally normal to NOT be doing it all. It’s totally normal to be struggling with a few areas of your life.
Because we actually aren’t meant to do it all.
We were meant to intentionally choose what we do and then do that as well as we can.
And then maybe work on being 5-10% better at the other stuff so we can feel well.
In my audience, many people struggle with their physical and/or mental health + fitness, pain, and injuries. And when I work with people, I see that they think I’m “doing it all” because I excel at what they are struggling with.
But this is a distortion. It’s not my reality.
What I see is that they are actually crushing it in areas where I struggle. For example, they are:
Insisting on being paid a fair income for their work
Able to save money for retirement and vacations
Surrounded by a robust community of support
♀️ Spend quality time having fun with close friends
They’ve got a perfectly organized home where everything is in its place
But I’ve learned not to beat myself up over — and I encourage you to do the same.
It’s time we stop aspiring to “do it all” because that’s not even a thing.
It’s time we normalize DOING WHAT MATTERS MOST TO YOU.
And maybe seeking some coaching support to working on bringing those areas of struggle up 5-10% so we can feel better about ourselves and our lives.
That’s where I’ll be — because life’s too short to spend it chasing myths, lies, and unicorns