Much of my day-to-day life during the work week hasn’t changed — my business was largely online before this pandemic. Having my husband here working from home every day, teaching classes from the spare bedroom, and not leaving home to hit the gym are the obvious differences but otherwise, not so different.

The real difference is in the weekends — I take them off from work completely now. I spend the time playing, engaging in creative activities, all without purpose or agenda. Just because. As a solo entrepreneur, this is no easy task.

When the fate of your life’s work rests squarely on your shoulders, it’s hard to relax and let yourself stop making forward progress on your to-do list for two days a week. That time spent “doing nothing” could easily be channeled into cultivating growth opportunities for the business and getting ahead of project deadlines … at least that’s how it feels when I’m taking non-productive time.

But over the last few weeks, rather than feeling like I’m wasting precious time or falling behind on the weekends, I actually started to feel like the work I do Monday-Friday is enough. I don’t feel the lack and scarcity the way I used to when I worked on the weekends. Turns out, by always trying to do more, I always felt like less. Oh the irony.

Lately, with this switch, I feel a new level of contentment, a sense of sufficiency — what I do is enough, what I have is enough, and who I am is enough — and within that mindset is a newfound satisfaction, joy, and fulfillment. I feel more successful now than ever before even though the level of productivity has decreased and I’m less busy all the time.

I’m consciously untangling my self-worth from my productivity. Rather than chasing a moving target, the insatiable beast of “more”, I’m finding greater joy and satisfaction in this moment as I simply stop withholding it from myself in pursuit of something more.

What can I say — sometimes the pursuit of awesome means opening your eyes to find it right here, right now.

That’s the story behind this week’s GRIT + grace Podcast episode, “The Well Within.”

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