WOO HOO!! It’s my birthday month, bitches!!! My favorite time of the year!!
But this year my birthday month of takes on a whole other meaning. If you read my last post on The Story of My Life, then you’re up to speed on what has led me to this day over the past 35 years but my friends, things they are a changin’ for me and this month is where my new adventure begins to unfold.
First, a little more backstory.
In February 2015, when I left the gym I’d been coaching and training out of, I was a bit lost. Everything in my life was chaotic, personally and professionally. After a few weeks, I got my head screwed on straight but as my mindset improved, my life started to change in some really big ways.
My business took on a life of its own.
I was asked to contribute to many articles, had my workouts published on several websites, became a brand ambassador for an activewear company, and discovered I had a hidden talent for cell phone yoga selfies in and around my neighborhood which where being used as marketing shots by another clothing brand. I was turning more clients down than I accepted, producing content for two blogs, and creating videos and photos for online publishing and marketing.
In June, I was presented with a chance to do yoga teacher training at Thrive Yoga in Rockville, MD (studying under my favorite yoga teacher, Jess Apo) which I almost passed on due to the cost but before I could shoot it down, I was offered the Teacher’s Assistant position which negated my excuse.
I could go on and on.
Things were falling into my lap at an impressive rate, as if the universe was conspiring to make things happen for me. And as the opportunities for me and my business increased, not wanting to decline anything but still not feeling secure enough to quit my day job, I spent a few months working 20 hours a day and sleeping 4. Before long, I was showing signs of breaking down.
But it all continued to relentlessly pursue me.
By mid-June, I realized I would soon have to choose between my passion and my stable job. I was panicked at the thought of losing this once in a lifetime chance but the thought of cashing in my steady paycheck was terrifying.
Then the day finally came.
On one otherwise unremarkable Tuesday morning in late June, I woke up and realized that if I was waiting for a sign, I’d received about 50 of them. It was time and I was ready to decide. I chose to be brave and take a chance on myself. I chose to go all-in and pursue this path as relentlessly as it had been pursuing me.
I only told 3 people that morning: my husband, my mom, and my bestie Melissa. All 3 were ecstatic and super supportive but I told no one else for weeks. I think I was waiting for the panic to set in…but it never did. Finally at peace with what I needed to do, I felt a thousand pounds lighter.
On July 23, 2015, I gave notice at my corporate day job with a final day of September 4th. It was hard to say the words to my boss – who is an amazing human being – and my awesome colleagues – who I absolutely adore – but once I did, the final hurdle had been cleared.
I had set myself free.
I’m allowing myself to bravely and boldly pursue a passionate life that most can only dream of and there hasn’t been a single moment of fear to date. I am stronger than I’ve ever been and I get stronger every day.
So what does all this mean??
Well, it means that in mid-September, I take my business FULL SCALE – focusing all my attention and creative energy on coaching, training, writing, teaching, and just generally doing my thing and being super awesome. I have a ton of options on the table right now so I’m gonna see where this journey takes me. Awesome things are coming and I can’t wait to share it all with you as it unfolds.
And with that, I begin my 35th year on this Earth in a better place than I’ve ever been. In my last post, I gave myself permission to close the book on the old because I know I’ve got to be done with it in order to move on to what’s coming next.
As a final birthday present to myself this year, I give myself 5 tokens – each representing an intention for this new adventure: Spirit, Grace, Brave, Badass, and Roar.
Earlier this year, I was feeling so physically and mentally drained that I was wondering what was still keeping me going. During a yoga class in January, Naomi Gottlieb-Miller said something to the class that was a game-changer for me: “I am more than my body. I am more than my mind. Because I am also spirit.” Your spirit is the why; the reason your body and mind exist. Connect with it and everything falls into place.
This was the hardest lesson for me to learn. Don’t get attached to any one outcome. Don’t force a result. Acknowledge that things are meant to come and things are meant to go – trust that the timing is perfect and you’ll end up exactly where you are meant to be.
A commonly-heard descriptor I picked up a few years ago. A quality I thought I’d lost in the exhaustion and burn out and still nothing has stopped me. Every time something or someone has threatened to crush me, only succeeded in making me stronger. It’s a game I’ll always win. It doesn’t get much more badass than that.
As a Leo, this is my natural tendency but when it comes to my own self-confidence, I’ve never had the “stuff” to back it up…until now. I know who I am, I’ve embraced it whole-heartedly. I don’t apologize for it and I don’t need to justify or defend it. And I know what I want. It’s time to tell the world.
Thanks to all who have been with me on this journey.
A very special thanks my husband Chris, my mom, my best gal-pals Melissa & Lauren, and The Thomas Family (Beth, Milt & Camille) for all the love and support that got me here today.
To Isa, my hero, for inspiring me to fight like hell for myself and the life that I want.
Also, to Naomi Gottlieb-Miller, Ashley Johns, Jess Apo, and Jennifer Walters thanks for putting yourselves (including your own stories and vulnerabilities) out there and offering timely words of wisdom that made all the difference for me.
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