I’ve been thinking a lot about vulnerability lately. Probably a function of putting more and more of myself out there lately as my brand and this blog grow. This is scary territory.
Vulnerability is a tough one for me. Not because I don’t experience it — I totally do — but because I’ve never felt able to express it. I’m always “the strong one”, that’s the role I’ve played all my life. I’m the one you call in a crisis, the one who holds everything together. I’m the one who doesn’t fall apart.
My strength has been my greatest asset … and, at times, my greatest liability. In certain situations, I can come off as cold and clinical and that has often kept me from connecting to people in the real and meaningful way that I want to. I’m working on that.
In the past I’ve been really hard on myself for this. I want to project warmth. I want to soften and unshield a little. But I also know that I’ll never be the sweet social butterfly, free spirit, wild child type — it’s just not in my DNA. And that’s perfectly fine.
I believe that we all bring our own unique gifts to the world. But knowing that, why do we still find it so difficult to let ourselves struggle in areas that are not our strengths? Why can’t we be bad at something and not have it crush our sense of self-worth?
It’s easy to focus on the qualities I don’t have and to harp on myself for not being more this or that. But the truth is what I do have is pretty amazing.
I don’t have to be good at everything and neither do you. There’s no such thing as “the whole package”. It’s time we stop holding ourselves to these ridiculously high standards and start letting ourselves be humans. Beautiful, real, unique humans.